Information overload

The past few days us Horkeys have been a tad under the weather. A virus has blown through our little house and has slowed us down. Treys passed much quicker than mine...and he had it first.

Being sick has made me learn a few things. I don't do well at home with a iPad being too close to research. I have looked at information, blogs, doctors, hospitals, questions I should ask, etc. until it has made me (even more) sick. Today I have banned myself from all of those things. I don't necessarily think it makes me a bad mother to not want to know. I don't want to know all the bad stories, bad treatments, bad recoveries and bad things that "could" happen. I now chose to accept London's case differently. Yes, she might have the same diagnosis as those kids, but her recovery and healing could be different. Her statistics could be different. No case is ever the same.

Today was definitely a low day when I realized I had filled my mind with entirely too much "stress". I brought all this stress upon myself. I knew it would creep up after a few weeks. There are some things that people have said lately that sting:

"I just cant imagine" ---well, me either.

"I don't know how you are going to do it" ---well, me either

"I didn't want to tell you, I know you have so much going on" --- I don't like to feel "different"

I am the same ol Chelsey, just learning how to live life completely differently than I have. I don't sweat the small stuff...because I can't. I still need the contacts from friends, funny stories, light hearted events and joys I always have...actually, even more now than ever.


I know that being a parent you will always worry about your child. I already feel an immense worry for my little girl. But you know what? there is NOTHING I can do about it but give it to God. God knows my story a few months down this road and no amount of information, studies, blogs, etc. will make myself feel any better or my situation any different. We have been put in such good hands in Oklahoma City along with Dallas and I trust that the Lord is going to work along with them to get us where we need to be. This Thursday we look at London again and I already feel excited to see her. The last time I saw her I felt sad for her. I am ready to look at her and thank her for moving so much lately, to almost tell me..."hey mom, chill out. I'm just peachy in here! O and also, stop looking at the internet."

I know most of your aren't in my situation, but we can all learn a little on you cannot CONTROL it or COMPARE your life to anyone elses.

We all have a separate story and God wants us to just show up in life and "do not be afraid".