As I approach my third trimester I have so many feelings running through my mind. This pregnancy seems to be flying by for me! I really am amazed at how fast she has grown and how fast she will be here. I keep telling myself to enjoy every second because its going to be here before I know it. Moving to Dallas in a few weeks and this whole process speeding up is pretty soon.
So many people ask me how I feel about her delivery day getting closer. I really try not to think about it because I really dont know how I feel. Half of me wants to keep her in there because she is doing so well. She has those two parts of her heart open (in utero) and right now its allowing her to live just fine. Half of me wants to get our show on the road and stop anticipating it. Its hard to anticipate all of this. How can you anticipate open heart surgery for your baby? How can you anticipate being in the hospital next to her like that? You can't.
Like my previous posts, I talk about the fears that creep in. I don't know how this will all go, I hope for the best and know that it is all in Gods hands. My humanly way is to want to keep her in there so I can control how I feel. I guess I could answer that question with "I dont know..."
Matt Hammitt that has the son with a hypoplastic heart (previous blog post about All of Me) wrote another song that has been great for me lately:
"I want to hold on, because I'm afraid...
I didn't ask for it to be this way.
Somehow I found myself caught in the gray.Reaching out for fear, running out of faith.
You know what I don't..so help me to let go.
You're in control, so help me to let go. I want to let go.
I want to let go of what I can't change, because I can't wrap my mind around your ways.
I've got more questions than I have answers these days. Please don't let my suffering go to waste.
You know what I dont, so help me to let go. You're in control...help me to let go."
Next week will be a big step. I really catch myself praying everyday that it goes well. I know she is growing okay but I really want her heart to be doing okay. I would love for her aortic arch and aorta to be better than what they "couldn't tell" last time. This time they will check and see if it is just skinny or if it is interrupted. All you who are praying, I would love for a very specific prayer...London's aortic arch to be better than expected. Please prepare Trey, his family and my heart as we go through another whole day of analyzing London.
I saw a cute thing on Pinterest where the girl put up notes on each week and how the pregnancy is going. I just recently started doing weekly bumpdates, but I thought this was cute to start now in the final stretch. There are alot of things to remember about this pregnancy with London, but this is a fun way to remember the little things.
How far along? going on 28 weeks
Total weight gain: up 19 lbs. (yikes)
Maternity clothes? yep - have been since about 12 weeks!
Stretch marks? none yet (knock on wood)
Sleep: I toss and turn about every hour. My hips start crushing if I dont switch sides every now and then.
Best moment this week: London had the hiccups.
Miss Anything? Nope! I have loved being pregnant.
Movement: LOTS! she is a fiesty little one. Mostly after cold water, a meal or right when I lay down for bed.
Food cravings: Chocolate milk.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Not anymore..thank goodness! If you asked me that before 15 weeks I would say EVERYTHING!
Gender: Girl
Labor Signs: NoSymptoms: Feeling pretty great! I definately popped around 25 weeks!
Belly Button in or out? in but VERY flat.
Wedding rings on or off? off, bought me a temp at Dillards! ;)
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy! Maybe ask somebody else ;)Wedding rings on or off? off, bought me a temp at Dillards! ;)
Looking forward to: kissing her foreheard.
All in all, I am doing good. I have a peace, but I am scared that all this is coming so soon. Gear up mama, you got a heck of a ride and a little charmer to fight for.
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