Information overload

The past few days us Horkeys have been a tad under the weather. A virus has blown through our little house and has slowed us down. Treys passed much quicker than mine...and he had it first.

Being sick has made me learn a few things. I don't do well at home with a iPad being too close to research. I have looked at information, blogs, doctors, hospitals, questions I should ask, etc. until it has made me (even more) sick. Today I have banned myself from all of those things. I don't necessarily think it makes me a bad mother to not want to know. I don't want to know all the bad stories, bad treatments, bad recoveries and bad things that "could" happen. I now chose to accept London's case differently. Yes, she might have the same diagnosis as those kids, but her recovery and healing could be different. Her statistics could be different. No case is ever the same.

Today was definitely a low day when I realized I had filled my mind with entirely too much "stress". I brought all this stress upon myself. I knew it would creep up after a few weeks. There are some things that people have said lately that sting:

"I just cant imagine" ---well, me either.

"I don't know how you are going to do it" ---well, me either

"I didn't want to tell you, I know you have so much going on" --- I don't like to feel "different"

I am the same ol Chelsey, just learning how to live life completely differently than I have. I don't sweat the small stuff...because I can't. I still need the contacts from friends, funny stories, light hearted events and joys I always have...actually, even more now than ever.


I know that being a parent you will always worry about your child. I already feel an immense worry for my little girl. But you know what? there is NOTHING I can do about it but give it to God. God knows my story a few months down this road and no amount of information, studies, blogs, etc. will make myself feel any better or my situation any different. We have been put in such good hands in Oklahoma City along with Dallas and I trust that the Lord is going to work along with them to get us where we need to be. This Thursday we look at London again and I already feel excited to see her. The last time I saw her I felt sad for her. I am ready to look at her and thank her for moving so much lately, to almost tell me..."hey mom, chill out. I'm just peachy in here! O and also, stop looking at the internet."

I know most of your aren't in my situation, but we can all learn a little on you cannot CONTROL it or COMPARE your life to anyone elses.

We all have a separate story and God wants us to just show up in life and "do not be afraid".

Prophecy and Busy bees!

This past week I had something so beautiful happen to me. I went this past Friday night with a friend to a church program her church was having on "healing". When I heard the word healing I knew that no matter what I needed to be there. I showed up a little nervous I would get too emotional and embarrass myself in church in front of all these new people. The first song we sang was "Healer" by Kari Jobe. That song felt so raw coming out of my mouth as the lyrics say:

"You hold my every moment. You calm my raging seas.
You walk with me through fire, and heal all my disease.
I trust in You, I trust in You.
I believe You're my Healer. I believe You are all I need.
Nothing is impossible for You, Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hands."

After the first verse of the song the lady up front pointed at me through the audience and said "sweetie, do you mind coming up here?"
I walked up there and she told the congregation I needed prayer as I just heard daunting news about my baby. The whole congregation prayed and a few people laid hands on my stomach. During the service a lady reached over and whispered in my ear "She will be a princess for the Lord, an advocate for his miracles. She is special. It's all going to be alright." Nobody told them I was coming, nobody told them I had issues with the baby...

I left there feeling as though angels flooded those women and without me saying a word they knew I needed prayer and knew London's purpose. I believe the Lord gave them a pulling to talk to me and address London.
It was the first time I have experienced prophecy and it was amazing.

Since the change of news in our baby I have been in overdrive. I am usually type A and enjoy staying busy but lately it is times 5...or 10!
Our house is spotless, I spend hours in Target, go to the grocery store, started setting up London's room and have made numerous lists. Being busy is good for my mind right now. I feel happy when my life feels "normal" and not like our world is different.

My plans for London's room is I want it to feel "whimsical". I love Anthropologie and their style. I had to stay away from that look a little bit in the rest of our house because it can tend to feel "girly". London's room is free reign on GIRLY! Right now she has some coral ruffle curtains that are my favorite part of the room. Little miss will not get to see her room for the first few months of her life so when she comes home I want it to feel fun and care free. This style is something she can grow with and enjoy the patterns and colors.

Today we had our first regular ob appointment since the news. I felt such anxiety pulling up because it was the first doctors appointment. This appointment will be the least nervy because all he does is check my vitals/levels and listen to her heartbeat. Her heartbeat was strong and good. He said it is in the normal to strong range which is amazing if she is working with her left ventricle only! She has some sass to fight!

Because of our transition to Dallas, I'm sure the planning and decorating will continue and in full force. Everything will need to be done by the end of April.

Today I can go to sleep knowing my little girl is kicking, has a normal to strong heartbeat, and I'm holding up pretty darn well.

Bless her heart

We are having a baby girl! We could not be more excited. Her name will be London Claire Horkey.

On January 11th Trey and I went into the stork vision in Edmond to find out the sex of our baby. That was such a joy filled day. I woke up that morning and had all kinds of thoughts running through my head...today my life will change for the better. I will be a boy mom or a girl mom and I can finally call this baby in my tummy a name. Lunch came and I could barely handle my jitters! We got to stork vision a little early (out of excitement) and they let us in early. I laid on that table and teared the whole time as we watched our baby girl and each of her features. She had the sweetest feet, the sweetest hands, and most of all we watched her heart beating. She has life!
That following Monday I had a normal ob appointment just for a check up. Appointment went pretty normal and I sat in the room waiting for my doctor. He came in and looking back I could tell that something was wrong. Pretty soon after he came in he told me that "Stork vision found a pretty serious defect in the baby and you will need to go to a specialized doctor for futher analysis to see what we are looking at." My heart sank but it was also a survival mode of what my next steps were. I asked a few questions and found out information of where we needed to go. I was originally told that we would have to wait another 2 weeks for this appointment. I called Trey and broke down, it was more emotional coming out of MY mouth than someone elses. I had to tell somebody news that ripped my own heart right open. Trey immediately came to be with me and called a nurse who was able to get us in to the specialist that day. We immediately drove to Norman and sat in an office for hours.

Finally that night after analysis on London we saw answers. As of NOW she has a right ventricle defect. This diagnosis, if she in fact has this, she will need three open heart surgeries before the age of 3. They are called the Norwood, Glenn and Fontan procedures. We will meet with cardiologists in Dallas to confirm but our doctor was pretty confident that this is all we are looking at. He sees no other abnormalities in her.

What is so refreshing is London is not affected in any way right now. The placenta and heart function differently when she is inside the womb and she is getting everything she needs. Her problems would start after birth. Her birth and care will have to be in Dallas. Trey will stay here and just travel.

The first few days were terrible. I have never heard of a diagnosis like this and immediately thought the worst. How could a baby survive like this? Did I do this to her? Why me?

The answers are yes, babies can survive and thrive. Her chances are pretty darn good. No, I did not do this to her..its not genetic. The answer to "why me" I will never understand.

After many visits with nurses and researching, this is all doable...medically but also spiritually. I believe in the power of prayer. I believe in miracles and I also believe God knew of London and knew she would have this defect. He knew Trey and I would receive the gift of London. London's heart was created imperfectly but perfectly to me.

She already has taught us so much. Trey and I love each other beyond belief and will get through anything. Don't take health or life for granted. Be kind to each person you encounter because you never know what kind of day they are having nor the gravity of news they are having to accept. The power in the family of Christ. The "peace that surpasses all understanding".

Dont get me wrong, I am human. I have moments of fear, bitterness and just sadness. I wish I could just make it all go away. I wish she could have my healthy heart. I know those emotions will always be there. Its part of being human. I also remind myself, JESUS said "why have you forsaken me?" This surely allows us to have times of doubt.

I would like to ask all our prayer warriors to shoot for the moon. I pray that we can see a miracle in London for complete healing. Wouldn't it be great for me to go in to my next appointment and its fixed?? I am not one to think it cant happen. If not, thats okay.. I am up for this challenge. Thank you London for your life and we are your biggest soliders.

Planning, Planning, and Planning.

Long time no post right? Things have been crazy for us these last few months. We went on an trip to Jamaica, Possum Kingdom, THUNDERING UP ;) and have been totally MIA most weekends.

You cant leave a thunder game without jumping with the Cox bubble! Me and the 4 year olds...

Update on the house:
We finally have walls and it looks like a REAL place! It is so crazy how much different it looks when the walls go up. It has been so much fun for us to pick out everything we want. What I have learned about building/designing a house:

1. It is absolutely impossible to make people understand that not eveerryyyonne is traditional and likes brown, brown and more brown. I have had to make an extra effort at places to find a different style. I like my fixtures and kitchen more contemporary which is very hard to come by around here. Oklahoma City is very french country/traditional...which is BEAUTIFUL but just not us.

Here are some sneak peeks into our selections:

I made a joke to somebody that I would have no lights in the rest of the house if I could have these in the kitchen. I thought they would TOTALLY be out of our price range but we found some that were! We are doing bronze industrial pendants over the island. These are going to be my favorite part of the house I already know it!

Again, this is not a picture of our kitchen yet. But we decided on white subway tile with gray grout! I am so excited about this too. Trey was laughing at how obsessed I was with getting the kitchen right. I feel like the kitchen is your statement room of the house.

I have had really great luck at Ballard Designs lately. I have gotten our dining room fixture among a few other things. If you are thinking about re-doing a room in your house or building. Check them out! They really reward you too. We have gotten so many gift cards in the mail after ordering something from them!

Update soon on cabinets and paint. Its rollin' quick now! :)

Mini vacation...Hey! Why not?!

You know that feeling that you just need to "get away!!"...I totally got that feeling last week. Sometimes a change of scenery can be just the perfect "re-boot" for the week or month ahead! Friday afternoon Trey and myself were trying to come up with ideas that would be fun...the best idea was a cabin retreat that we could bring our dog child Milly! We had such a great time being outside in the perfect spring time weather, sitting in our deck hot tub and just having some good R & R away from it all! It was refreshing to not have much cell service or Internet.

This was the living room view of our little cabin

When we drove up I saw this heart in the tree! Such a cute surprise!

The creek in the back

I was not too sure how Milly would do in "outdoors". Shes an inside diva who just uses outside as her "bathroom" if you will..

She really kept up the whole time on our walks

and was not kidding around in the creek. She went right in and wanted to swim! She loved it.

Of course we ended the day with some Big Bang Theory.

So all you "wanna get away" people out there...do it!! I promise its fun to remove yourself from your little box for even just a few days!

Sneak peak into our living room

Trey and I went by the lot last week and they finally have started to break ground. This weekend they were laying pipes and then the walls will go up. Crazy to think we will be fully moved in by our first wedding anniversary. It has been so fun to start buying furniture and accessories for our new home! I have always loved home design (that's why I fell in love with Pinterest ;) ) and we now get to pick out our own things for our place! I knew I always had a thing for East coast style. I struggle with the right word to call my home style..I guess you could say Nantucket/Cape Cod mixed with fresh. I know it's not close or near where I live but I have a love of all things white and striped. Therefore our living room will be all of those things! I knew I wanted soft blues, whites and a comfy large sectional. We have most of these things already ordered and we are stalking Pottery Barn to wait until the console table goes on sale. Here is a sneak peak of our future living room!

Who doesn't love LOVE?

First of all, CONGRATS to our precious friends Stephanie and Stuart. They got engaged tonight and I feel SO blessed we were able to be a part of it. They have become such great friends and I love being part of the memory. Everything went off perfect and was a surprise (which is almost crazy because all girls somewhat "know") but she was so surprised!! The plan went as follows..


Stuart told her he had something great happen at work today that called for a celebration. He took her to one of the most nice restaurants in Oklahoma City and they had a nice dinner. While they were at dinner, the little elves (Trey and I) went over and set everything up..some funny things happened in that process.

1) Anybody who knows my personality knows I was FREAKING OUT about it going perfectly. I was worried we were going to get caught, something was going to fall, they would see us drive off or we would have to hide in the bushes..Trey was wishing I wasnt a little helper at that point....
2) Stuart sent a joke text message that he was five minutes out and Trey and I scrambled out the house, almost set off the alarm, went out the wrong door...
3) Whole foods ran out of flowers so I sweet talked the Customer Service desk for their arrangement before we went over for champagne...

He just bought a house a few weeks ago and I think its so special he wanted to come back and do it there! That will be their first home together and what memories to have gotten engaged in that same house! They got to the house and he blindfolded her...took her through the house to this:

Right after we came over for champagne and have a few girl screams!!! She was so excited it made me tear up. Don't we all love love?! I think I love love more now that I am married, and I know I will more as time goes on. Marriage suddenly becomes a new form of love and engagements are all the more special to me now. You are a new family and this is your buddy for life. Youre in it forever through thick and thin.

Trey was really embarassed at how giddy I was at all the memories happening! I had to get a picture with the finished project! So impressed Stuart!

Before we left I had to leave a girl with some flowers and wedding books/magazines to look at as her mind races all night of her wedding day..

What a fun night! And if you ever need some love elves you know who to call! ;)